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How it happened.

It started out with a simple Facebook friend request, which he initiated. 

Unfortunately for him, I had a bitch-phase going on. 

I developed a habit of ignoring friend requests from people I barely knew, and I didn't know Hafiz at all. 

So obviously he was tossed aside (figuratively), and I honestly didn't give a care at all.

Well he told me he wanted to get to know me better after seeing a photo of my sister and I,

but I guess he couldn't find me.

There was this period of time I was arguing with my sister, 

so I blocked her off everything and she wasn't Facebook friends with me.

Poor guy, when he finally found me,

it took about 2-3 months before I finally approved his request.

I don't know why I did.

Maybe it was the fasting month and I wanted to be nice.

Maybe after my predawn meal I just had to get on the computer and scroll through all the friend requests,

and I clicked on his profile, it turned out that I liked what I saw.

Maybe since I saw that he lived in my area, we could have friendly hang outs.

Maybe I was feeling extra flirty, or maybe I just wanted to make friends with someone new,

and moderately good looking who was moderately fit. 

*cough*

Oh come on, Facebook request decisions are a little easier for people who are easy on the eyes. 

Just keeping it real!

But honestly my intentions were to test the waters, 

despite practically wading around the freaking place for an entire year and a half. 

I had been solitary for so long after a hard fall, I swear I thought I'd forgotten how to love.

The truth is, my hands were already stained red,

from the hearts I've taken and crushed, because I fled before things got way too messy.

For some reason nobody seemed right enough, although I secretly so desperately wanted someone to be.

He needed to be just right, you know? 

I needed to feel that assurance that he'd hang on to his seat for one hell of an endless roller coaster ride.

The one thing everyone else lacked, 

was the ability to capture my withered heart, 

and give that jolt of energy to remind me  I was worth loving again.

No, comfort wasn't enough.

I still felt the walls around me.

It was like being trapped in a dried out well, with cushions and entertainment.

I was still very much alone, because I couldn't quite let anyone in.

Anyway, we started talking.

The awkward stages of getting to know someone, I'm never ever good at.

I always either scare off a person, or bore a person.

OR I'd get bored because someone would get too eager and then all weird and creepy.

The thing that struck me most was how alike we were,

and I kept coming back for more.

The way he talked, and stopped talking, was exactly the same thing I did.

He didn't display any creepy eagerness, he was sort of holding back,

and it drove me nuts! Because I did the exact same thing!

It was the peculiarity of it all that really enticed me. 

Something in him was different, yet at the same time strangely familiar.

Seemingly this made me want to know him even more.

We didn't date right away, we talked for days, and then days turned to weeks.

Some days I thought he weren't that interested in me. 

But that didn't really matter, I wasn't looking for anything serious.

We hung out at Starbucks with sushi watching cat videos one evening,

and after midnight I got a text from him saying he still wanted to hang out.

So we sat near my place, under the stars and had hours of conversation.

Most of what we talked about struck a chord in me.

The days went by and we did the same thing often. 

Just sitting, and talking. 

I never really bothered to do something like that with anyone else.

He was a unique blend of unpredictability and familiarity, 

a perplexed paradox I soon grew to adore.

For the lessons I've learnt in endearment, I told myself to hold back until I was really ready.

But the placidity of it all eased my rigid inner conscience and it was like he walked through the walls around me.

Opening up to anyone never felt so effortless.

One of the nights after weeks, we were sitting and talking as usual,

he randomly pulled the hood of my pullover, covering my eyes.

I felt him lean close to my face as if studying every detail of my nose, my cheeks, my lips and my chin.

"The fuck are you doing?"

       "Nothing. Tell me, how close?"

"I don't know. I feel your breath, so you're really close. Okay quit it."

Aaaaaaand he leaned in to kiss me. Aaaaaaaand it was perfect. Aaaaaaaaand I'm not going to go into detail.

The kiss. THE KISS. 

After it happened it was like I could feel my heart sigh and smile.

There. There was that jolt of electricity I needed.

--


So there you go. That's basically how it all began, minus the prelude.
But that bit's a little too precious to share.


I'll just say I thank God for reaching deep into my heart and answering my prayers.

I love you, Hafiz Latiff.

xx